First Social Worker Visit & Eventful Week with the Kids!

Well we had our initial visit from our social worker last night. I started out a little nervous, mostly because I was so excited and have been looking forward to at least talking to someone about Fostering instead of just reading about it online! She came here at 5pm and didn't leave until past 7! It was very informal and basically we just asked questions and she talked to us about anything and everything.

It was definitely encouraging and a more comprehensive view of what fostering will be like. Overall, we (Adam and I) felt more enthusiastic than ever to go forth with it - our main consideration is the fact that although the agency pays enough for Adam to take it on as his full-time job, that is ONLY when we actually have a child/children in our care. So if we didn't have a placement for 3 months - well, that's no pay for three months. So this means we are going to need to think of some sort of part-time or back-up employment which can be done in times of need. It might be that as soon as we are approved we get 2 children for the next three years. Ideal but we can't rely on hypothetical situations like that to support the family!

After our talk we decided that basically we are going to be open to up to two children (three in emergency) and ages 0-18. Whatever we say we want to get approved for is official - so for example if we said that we wanted one child 0-10, that is ONLY what we would be able to foster in the future. So the social worker said it was best to be open to different opportunities and then base our decision on the case at hand, if that is what we wanted.

We finished with her letting us know that she was going to type up all of her report (she took notes and our application form while she was here) and submit it to her supervisor on Thursday. She said they will then make a decision about whether or not they would continue with the assessment and be in touch - she said she would be recommending us!

All in all she was great to have here and I hope that she remains as our assessment social worker for the next step, assuming all goes well. She said she might be but it isn't for sure as of yet. So for now we wait for them to tell us what is next! The process from here will take roughly four months, with weekly visits from the social worker and things like medical examinations, criminal record checks, health and safety checks for our home, etc. We have a three-day training course to go on (as well as lots of other training courses) which we will find out more about shortly.

Meanwhile, I'll be looking after my two crazy kids who keep me so busy that some days I think "what are we DOING??" This week has been insane, Liliana got a bash on her head and has four teeth coming in. We are exhausted! Thankfully this is not the norm and I cannot WAIT for her teeth to come through so this can be over.

Today I'm off to take Reuben to preschool, help out a friend this morning and then need to make 24 muffins for our local church's holiday club (like VBS). Realistically, all I want to do is sleep. Or drink coffee. But mostly sleep.

Please keep your prayers coming regarding our decision to move forward with fostering. It is such an exciting time, and I just pray that we find a way to make the financial side of it work out - there are so many ways in which we feel this is the right time to do this and I feel like we need to do whatever it takes.

19 Months Later....Let's extend the love!

I don't really know why I stopped blogging. It was a lot of fun to record how my kids were doing, the ways in which they were growing,and the general amusement and frustrations of day to day life. I think the main reason was that I realized that having two kids, 17 months apart, leaves me little free time and that free time is spent trying to relax because I'm generally exhausted. And I started working when Liliana was 8 months old. That was hard. I was still breastfeeding (I did until she was 15 months) and she would scream for hours - I would get home from work at 10:30pm and she would be in her room screaming for me. She is SO clingy and attached to me. Now at 19 months she is branching out a little, sometimes even going into a room that I am not in. Very exciting. So here we are! I work part time as a Youth Worker for a church a half hour away. It's perfect because it means I can stay home with my kids all day every day, and on Sundays I do most of my job with the regular Thursday night youth club as well. I can't say that I'm sad to miss out on putting the kids to bed one night a week - it is a welcome relief. Reuben turned three last week. I have no idea how this happened and where the last three years have gone. He is the most amazing little boy - occasionally driving me crazy asking "why?" to EVERYTHING I say. He is so smart - which is good since he is starting school next year; two weeks after he turns four. This time next year I will be school shopping. I can not believe that. Liliana just turned 19 months. She is a hand full. She is hilarious, ridiculously cute with a head full of curls, and has no sense of danger. If I take my eyes off her, or if she has actually left the room that I am in - I have to go find her immiedietly because she is probably either trying to jump out a window or throw my iPod touch in the toilet. Or in the neighbors front yard. Or trying to balance somewhere dangerous. So, I am kept on my toes. She is napping now so I can rest. Life in general is hectic, yet sometimes boring. It is mostly boring when I choose to be bored because of how desperately I do not want to clean any more. I clean so much. I have made a lot of friends lately though so this has been awesome - I went out this morning and chatted to two different people - all of which I have become close with, just on the way to play at a friends' house down the road. It is so nice to feel part of a community. Our most recent endeavor is that we are looking into fostering children. We have been talking about it for a long time - before we had kids. And now, it seems like the right time. By the time the assessment is over, Liliana will be 2 and Reuben will be 6 months from starting school. We have a spare room, and many independant agencies in the UK pay enough so that you can make a career of fostering; so Adam would love to make this his career. He is the most skilled person I have ever met when it comes to children and young people, particularly those who are difficult or unsociable. He just has a way of looking past awkwardness, and seeing the good in people when others don't find it easy. I would love to watch him use these skills and gifts and feel fulfillment by it. So we have registered our interest and after waiting a week or so they called this morning to say they are coming over on Tuesday evening to talk to us about fostering. This initial visit is just going to give us more information about fostering, and basically what the next 6 months will look like. I am so excited but so nervous. What happens if we get all excited and set our home up for foster children but then they reject us for some reason? I keep reading "horror stories" of ridiculous reasons they say people can't foster. I hope they don't find a ridiculous reason for us. I feel so strongly that we could make a positive impact on children's lives and I can only pray that the agency can see this in us as well. We are going to tell them that we are open to up to two children, ages 0-10. It would be nice to say up to 7's but we don't want to limit our opportunity as much as that. Any older and I don't think it would be beneficial for our own children. It's our next big adventure and I ask that you would join us in prayer as we go forward. I will know more on Tuesday so will probably post again then. Until then, I need to be cleaning my house. Again.

Thoughts on Parenting 2 Babies

It's 8:00am and by this point on most mornings I've done some laundry, loaded the dishwasher, fed and dressed both of my children - 1 month and 18 months - and had a cup of coffee. Most mornings we go out to our front living room, put on the record player and play with trains and cuddle. It is the best part of my day, by far.

When my son Reuben was born, I experienced a range of emotions but to be honest it seemed to me that by the time he was 6 months old I felt that I had changed a lot...for the worst. Although I knew I was blessed with this amazing little man who I adored watching learn and grow, I also experienced more exhaustion and frustration then I ever could have anticipated. I became someone I didn't recognize; I realized that I posessed characteristics that I hav never seen before. I've never been a morning person but this got to the point where I was impatient, angry, annoyed, and had very little tolerance of others (mostly my husband, poor guy.) I definitely loved the new experience of being a mommy but it took quite a while for me to understand the "joy of parenthood" because I just felt so tired all the time.

At this point a year ago, at 8am I would be dreading the fact that I was awake. I didn't understand why Reuben wouldn't sleep through the night or even past 5am.

When I was pregnant (and scared out of my mind) with Liliana, too many people told me, "it's easier with two!" I would silently think, "how is that even possible?" I imagined screaming babies, ganging up on me in the middle of the night. I anticipated being unable to cope and the tiredness to be something completely beyond my capability to handle. But, here I am, 5 weeks into having 2 children, and it is much better, and yes, easier, with two.

Reuben is now 18 months old and the absolute light and joy of my life. He makes me laugh so hard it's unnbelievable. The "joy of parenting" doesn't even begin to explain how this little boy makes me feel. Moreover, I have been further blessed with this amazing little girl, now 1 month old and SMILING. Yes, I don't care what other people say- she smiles! The stresses that I felt when I first became a mommy don't stress me out anymore. When the babies cry, I accept that "it happens." When Reuben wakes up in the night, or when he's being silly and throwing a tantrum, I accept that I can't give all of my attention to him and therefore it doesn't phase me as much. When liliana screams for an unknown reason (with Reuben I would try everything and we'd both end up crying), I have all of a sudden gained the ability to accept it and search for the root of the problem - which is usually a burp. I am so much more confident, calm, and happy to be doing this job!

All of this is to say that I now wake up after a fairly sleepless night and am ready for the day. I don't feel the same exhaustion that I felt in the beginning of motherhood. I feel joyful and excited that I have been given the responsibility of these two beautiful children. Do I still get impatient sometimes? Of course. Yesterday it took me a half hour to get Reuben's shoes on because Liliana wouldn't let me put her down (and if I did she screamed so hard she couldn't breathe.) It was frustrating, but we got through it. I love my children so much and although it is incredibly difficult, it's amazing as well.

It took me a little while to look at my children and understand what people were talking about when they talked about how incredible it is to be a mommy, but now I know beyond all shadow of a doubt that this is by far the most incredible feeling ever. I am so proud to be theirs.

The Birth of Liliana Kathleen Bradley

Here I go - I am going to try and remember every detail of the incredible birth experience I had with my little girl, Liliana Kathleen!

This experience was so very different from that of Reuben's. I will just write it out all as it happened though! Also, note that we hired a doula which is a person who was able to be a support during the whole birth.


Liliana was due on January 10th, 2012. On the 8th I began having cramping pains - nothing serious and nothing that I was able to time but it made me think that maybe something would happen soon. Nothing really progressed, but unlike that of Reuben's birth, this one followed a lot of "textbook" signs of labor. Cramping started slowly. On the 9th of January-10th, I lost my mucous plug, which was VERY exciting because it was an actual sign that showed that labor would (eventually) come. With Reuben I had no signs, it just hit me all at once. So when this started happening, I got very excited!

Nothing really happened after that, though I kept losing bits of it over the next couple days.

On the 11th of January I decided to just stop thinking about it all and do some cleaning - as I had done every day for the last month. I cleaned out the back entrance to our house, cleaning and scrubbing the bathroom that we never use. The cramps had pretty much subsided and I was a little discouraged but like I said - decided not to think about it. The day carried on and I let Adam and my doula know that nothin seemed to be progressing. Then, at 3:30 in the afternoon I was in the kitchen when I realized that my water had broke! A very weird experience because all I knew was that I didn't pee my pants...so something was happening. Because of the Strep B, I had to go straight to the hospital for them to confirm my water had broke and tell me what to do from there. So I called Adam at work, and my doula (who was actually away from the area until 5:30pm) to let them know I needed to go. We called Adam's mom to come look after Reuben and by about 4:30pm we left for the hospital.

We arrived at about 5pm and literally upon arrival my contractions started! I knew my doula was going ot be a little late so she didn't meet us until 6:30ish, by which point we'd been told that my water had definitely broken and I was 1cm dilated.

My doula arrived at 6:30 and at this point the contractions were coming 3-5 minutes apart, and quite painful but having her there to just chat helped me to try and ignore the pain. The hospital offered me dinner at this point which I knew would not stay in my system long - but I hadn't eaten all day so I went for it.

The next check came at about 9pm where I was told that I was at 3 cm and my cervix was still long - I felt like I should have been farther along but I accepted this and was encouraged by Adam and my doula that this was good news.





Things got more and more intense, the contractions more painful but I felt like I was able to cope. At some point here I was able to get gas and air which is laughing gas - this doesn't take the pain away at all but was a beautiful thing!! It helped me to relax and laugh..a lot.



The next check came at about 1am, they routinely do them every 4 hours so I knew it was coming. I would have guessed that I was at about 7cm at this point - it was very painful and they were coming pretty constant. It was such a strange experience becuase it was SO different from Reuben; these contractions were low down and in the front, Reuben's were all in the back and just very different feeling. At this point they also gave me the IV for the Strep B. This was genuinely more painful than any contraction I had the entire labor. They shoved a massive needle which put a tube into my arm; I SCREAMED. The people who put it in were jerks and acted like I was being a wuss. It was so flipping painful though.

So the 1am check came - and where was I? STILL 3cm. I cried. I PANICKED. I just couldn't believe that I hadn't made progress - but my doula and the midwives assured me that I had made progress, that my cervix was now very thin. But I was still told 3cm and this was more than I could handle - I remember yelling at Adam telling him I couldn't do it. At this point I realized that I NEEDED pain relief - mostly becuase I was panicking so much. My doula told me that they could offer me pethidin, and it was so wonderful to have her there because she was able to tell me right then and there what the pros and cons of this drug were. She said that if the baby were born within 2 hours it might make her drowsy and it could make me feel sick but the pros were that it would allow me to relax between contractions. I accepted RIGHT away. I got 2 injections, one was an anti-sickness one and one was the pethidin. Within 10 minutes I threw my dinner up but was able to relax between each painful contraction. While the drugs only worked for a little while, it was a MUCH needed relief. What was even more awesome was that my next check which was only 2 hours later revealed that I had gone from 3-8cm in about an hour.


At 4am I realized that I was beginning to feel pressure, what a weird feeling! I had never gotten to this stage with EwReuven so I had no idea what to expect. At 5:00am pretty much on the dot I began pushing - this was the single more insane thing I have ever experienced. My body just took over completely. I could never have anticipated the kind of feeling that took over at this point - the uncontrollable need to push with everything in me. My midwives and doula were encouraging me, helping me to focus on breathing and allowing my body to do what it needed to do.





After about 40 minutes on my hands and needs on a bed, they were encouraging me to move but I didn't feel like I could. I stayed in that position for a little longer and then there was a massive BURST where my water really broke all over the place - I had no idea this was even part of the labor process and it just scared me and motivaed me like nothing I have ever experienced. Then I started to move slightly to the side and immiedietly my body just seemed to find the right position, continued pushing, and I could feel her head crowning which was just crazy. It went from a cramp feeling, to a push, to an absolute burning. A few pushes later I felt her head come out followed by the rest of her little body. My whole body felt like it had definitely just ejected a massive person. I was shaking and just in shock and awe. I heard my little girl cry and soon turned over as she was handed to me. It was the most awesome, amazing, incredible thing I have EVER experienced and I am just beyond excited and proud that I brought my little girl into this world the way I did.








Unfortunatley... this is where things started to go wrong. I lost a LOT of blood, about 1600 ml (about 56 oz). The placenta didn't come out and the midwives and doctors injected me with something to get the placenta out but it didn't come; they then tried to inject the cord with the same drug but the cord was really thin and they couldn't get the drug in. I was then taken to the theate (ER room?) and was put to sleep (I coulnd't just be anesthetized because my platelets were incredibly low). They manually removed the placenta and while I was under stitched up my 2nd degree tear. When I woke up my heart rate was ridiculously high and had to get my blood taken for testing. Platelets were still low and I was told that I had to be on antibiotics for the next48 hours due to risk of infection from the placenta removal. They also said that I had a potential infection of the uterine wall so I have to stay on the antibiotics for another week at home.

I also tore my abdomial muscles twice as much as a normal person does when they deliver a baby. This means that I can't lift anything and had to see a physiotherapist. I have to wear this weird band thing for the next 4 weeks until my next appointment where they will let me know how things are doing.

The Strep B is still being monitored but fortunately there are currently no signs of it - just pray that it stays that way!


I realize that maybe the birth didn't really go as smoothly as some, and my body now feels like I have been hit by at least 15 large trucks. I can't really walk and because of my muscles can't even pick my son up. BUT I got the birth I wanted. I went through the pain and the work of bringing my little girl into the world. It was the most incredible thing I have ever, and could ever, experience. I could just talk about it forever and am so excited that it went the way it did, despite the aftermath! My little girl is beautiful and we are all home ready to live as a little family <3

Liliana Kathleen was born at 6:05am on January 12th, 2012. She weighed 8lbs 3oz.

Long Time No Blog!

Wow, well..it's been a while. Life has gotten more fun, more hectic, more...everything.

I'm now 25 weeks pregnant, and we're having a girl! I'm SO excited. When we went to the scan I realized how badly I was hoping for a little girl; when they said it was a girl I cried! I am so happy and feel so fortunate to have one boy and one girl. Our family is going to be a proper little family! (And the teams will be even..!)




Reuben is now 13 1/2 months old and doing wonderfully. He's so smart and interested in everything - and INTO everything! He started walking a few weeks ago and there is no stopping him. His favorite things at the moment are pretty much anything with wheels - he loves pushing things around the room! He's really into throwing things in the trash can as well...yesterday we found one tube of diaper cream and our unopened bag of starbucks coffee. Good save.


He's also talking a little bit - says "hi" (or Hiya) and "bye" (...or By-a..which he made up.) He says mama and "aga" a lot but we aren't really sure what that means. Theory has it that "Aga" means "Adam" since I'm always shouting at Adam...hahahah.




He's hitting and exceeding milestones for his age - he plays with a ball which is a 15 month milestone (and he's been doing that for a while!), walks confidently (14 month milestone) Helps around the house (15 month milestone). He also had his first haircut, ridiculous how much hair he had at 13 months!






I'm so proud of my little man! He's still sleeping well - 7pm-about 6am, and we've just switched him to one nap a day since he's starting to go to daycare on Thursday. I've started my college courses so I need some time to get that done!

So..on the note of what I've been up to...well, like I said I've started my classes. We've also applied for Adam's visa to immigrate back to the USA. We are hoping that all will go through by July or August and we'll move back then! WAY too excited about that!!!

I've been spending a LOT of time cooking lately. We have started planning out our weekly meals every week so it makes for a much cheaper and more exciting dinner time! Lately I've made Apple Crisp (neighbor's apples), Apple & Blackberry Crumble (neighbor's apples and neighborhood blackberries!) and today I made Creamy Parsnip Soup from parsnips I grew myself! I've been having a lot of fun cooking and it's so much nicer to be organized about food. Reuben is now eating whatever we eat which is SO much easier - though I feel like he's not getting any many vegetables as he should so we're working on that one :).


I start my next maternity leave on November 30th so not too long to go before I'm off work again! Before we know it our baby girl will be here and life will be even more insane than it is now!

Well, I think that's all for now. Hopefully it won't be another 4 months before I update again..!!

Reuben: 11 months, Baby: 13 1/2 weeks :)

First photo: 11 weeks Second and Third Photos: 13 weeks





Well, the news is out! We are now expecting our second beautiful baby on January 10th, 2012. We are beyond excited (and, I won't lie, nervous!) Yes, they will be 17 months apart, and yes, it was PLANNED.

So far with baby #2 we have had two scans - the first one was the end of June when we thought I was 12 1/2 weeks, but come to find out I was only 11. I wasn't surpised at this becuase when I took the (large amount of) pregnancy tests, they kept coming back negative. Finally, I resolved that I wasn't in fact pregnant and my period was just being irregular as I'd only had one since Reuben was born, haha! Having giving up on the fact that I could be pregnant, I insisted to Adam that I would take one more test and off I went. Positive. I couldn't believe it! It was a de ja vue to last time - I had gone upstairs on my own (since I thought it would be negative!) and I was wrong. Baby number 2, on the way. I thought I found out at a late 5 1/2 weeks, which is why I agree with the scans. Either way, they sonographer couldn't get all the measurements she wanted so I was scheduled a second scan for the beginning of July where the date, Jan 10th, was confirmed. At 13 weeks, my beautiful baby was so much more clear and active than 2 weeks before - it was awesome. So amazing to already see the differences between this baby and Reuben even in a little scan.



On top of all this exciting news, I can't believe that my little boy is 11 months old. ELEVEN. This is his last month as an "under 1"! We have started planning his party, which I am soo excited about. What I'm not excited about? Saying I have a 1 year old! I just can't believe it.

The awesomest thing though about 11 months old is how quickly he is picking up new things. I am so amazed by him lately. He is cruising around on furniture and though I thought he would be walking by now, he is quite content as a VERY avid crawler/cruiser. He has started standing on his own with no prompting and he is quite stable as well. He is OBSESSED with waving - to people, animals, ...even inanimate objects. I LOVE it when he waves at strangers - it is seriously the most adorable, cutest thing ever. He is not anxious at ALL - he often reaches his arms out to be held by people in stores. He wants to be held by complete strangers, it's awesome.

He loves animals, they make him laugh and it's so cute. He loves cheerios. He is so giggly and playful, and is so good at playing on his own. In the evenings I will often just relax while he plays with his toys in front of me for a good 40 minutes.

He says "mama"...a LOT. His current favorite thing to say though is, "ya ya ya ya ya." When I prompt him to say "byebye" he says, "bababa" which is close enough for me! He loves bathtime and being outside. I could just go on forever, he is so smart and cute and recently has become very cuddly which I obviously LOVE.

The best news of all? About a week after ten months old he started sleeping through the night. 7pm-5am. At 5 I feed him and he will usually go back down til 6. (Also, I'm still breastfeeding and have no intention of forcing him to stop anytime soon.) He now naps every morning at 9 for about 1-1 1/2 hours, and again at 2 for the same amount of time. I no longer rock him to sleep - I feed him and put him in his bed and he goes to sleep. Occasionally it takes him a few minutes, but for the most part he just goes to sleep. Even for nap times. IT's A MIRACLE. :)


Life is really good at the moment. Since sleeping through the night, Adam and I have been able to put him to bed and have people come stay here while he sleeps while we go out for a couple hours - no fear of him waking up and needing me to get him back to sleep! It has been SUCH a relief. I feel so much happier, my relationship with Adam has improved 100% because we are no longer tired/frustrated all the time. Reuben is the happiest little boy because he isn't tired all the time. And I no longer feel like a frustrated, incompetent mommy. I feel awesome and confident and I love it!!!

I will try to update more often now for baby #2 - also, August 25th we have our next scan where we will (hopefully) find out if we are having a girl or boy, I can't wait!!!!!

10 Months Old!!!

I can't believe it. I was looking at photos today of when Reuben was 6 months old. It felt like it was last week. 6 months seemed like such a milestone. He's turning into such a little boy now - I want time to slow down!

Unfortunately the run-up into the 10 month mark hasn't been great. Reuben has been sick for a week now. He's been throwing up, diarrhea, and COMPLETELY grumpy. Constantly crying and always wanting to sleep. Hardly eating and having milk alllll night long. It has been an exhausting week, to say the least. We have been to the doctor three times and each time they have said it's a virus and there isn't much we can do.

Another thing that's added to his grumpiness is...a tooth! He FINALLY has a little tooth poking through and it looks painful. He hates it when I put teething gel on it because it's so sore. I feel like we are going to have a very, very long road with this teething business. He clearly does not have a high pain tolerance. I'm sure it's the sickness as well, but he has just been crying all day every day for DAYS. He's just gone to bed and it is so peaceful to actually be sitting here by myself and not be worrying about him! I will try to get a photo of this tooth someday - but he isn't very cooperative with letting others see it!

This month has flown by and I can't really think of whats happened! We took a family trip to Wells to see Wells Cathedral which was fun. We also went swimming/on a picnic with lots of other babies last Thursday (the last good day Reuben had before he got sick!) Other than that we've been enjoying the warm weather and spending time with Daddy while we had some school vacation.

Reuben's hair is crazy. I don't really know what to do with it. I can't cut it because I am not bringing scissors near that boy's face - he is way too out of control for me to do that. It's hard enough trying to keep his finger nails short, let alone his HAIR.

Developmentally, Reuben is VERY VERY active. He is crawling very quickly, pulling himself and walking along furniture, he has clapped a few times but isn't really a fan...haha. He has MASTERED the "pincher" with his fingers and loves eating peices of cereal (and my cereal in the morning!) He says mama all the time but other than that babbles a lot. He gives kisses on occasion which is hilarious/slimy. I think the most impressive thing he has done yet though is taken a ball and put it into a little shape toy. I was reading about development and this is something that a baby can do at 11 months and he did it about 2 weeks ago, at 9 1/2 months. My smart baby!

He's still hard work but so much fun to play with now. He LOVES other kids and babies, they always make him laugh. Oh and he can stand! Though he thinks it's a game and just lets himself fall forward onto whoever is in front of him. He's such a cutie!

I think that's all I can think of for this month. More news to come soon.....:o)